Posted by Rebecca
A few weeks ago I threw a baby shower in the pink trailer. I was able to cram 20 women, 3 toddlers and a way-too-big dog in my 450 square foot palace. All went off virtually without a hitch – it was a little crowded, and my pup stole a muffin from one of the kids and a croissant from one of the ladies, but who’s counting. It was a brunchy shower, so that meant I needed to bake a few things. For which I had to buy a cookie sheet.
How is it possible, you ask, that I did not have a cookie sheet before this party? Well, I did. It just didn’t fit in my oven. So I had to buy a miniature one, typically marketed to smurfs. You see, my trailer came complete with a built-in barbie-size oven. And it kinda sucks.
Other than the insulation situation, the oven is my biggest complaint about my home. I don’t eat birds anymore, but if I did, I would not be able to cook a large chicken in my kitchen. It wouldn’t fit.
In addition to the dinky size, it has some quirks. It’s a gas oven that requires lighting every time it’s used. But the tube thingy (that’s what the professionals call it) that brings the gas into the oven corroded and fell apart. So in order to light the oven I have to slide open the bottom warming drawer and hold the lighter up to the element. Not a big deal, except the warming drawer doesn’t have knobs, which makes it tricky to open, and when it is being opened it lets out a high-pitched squeak that could shatter glass and bring dogs to tears. Probably fixable with some WD-40 or something, but I’m afraid to start spraying stuff that may be flammable into that gas chamber for fear of blowing up my house.
Also, when I first got the trailer and we started ripping stuff out and cleaning the place up, the oven racks were put outside in order to be de-greased and de-germed, never to be seen again. I don’t know if they were stolen, or accidentally taken to the dump. But do you have any idea how difficult it is to find oven racks that will fit in a Hobbit’s oven? My aunt was able to find a metal grate that fit the width. It’s short on depth, but it will do. And once my uncle bent the prongs that are along the edges, at least the rack sits flat without mimicking a teeter-totter.
And so I have oven envy. It does work, and I’m thankful for that. And it heats the whole place up (kind of like a flame thrower), so on really cold nights it’s nice. But I miss the days of casually flipping a switch or fitting a pizza in my oven without cutting it in half first. Sigh.
Well, it’s a good thing I have a normal stove. I don’t think I could take 2 high maintenance appliances in one kitchen. I mean, everyone has to pop off the knob and turn off the burner with a wrench, right?? At least tell me you all have to do that. I don’t think I could handle stove envy too….