Remembering Cassi

Posted by Rebecca

Cassi3

It was six months ago today that I kissed my sweet Cassi good-bye.  She was old and sick, and then took a turn for the worse, so I had her put to sleep.  She didn’t suffer, and we had spent her whole life together, and it was so sad, but I was glad I was there with her up to her last breath.

It’s been a hard six months.  I miss her a lot.  Granted, life is easier now – I have more freedom than I have had in over a decade.  But life is less full and less fun.  The pink trailer felt more like a home with her in it.

Fortunately most days I think of her with a smile on my face, rather than a tear in my eye.

I am often asked when I am getting another dog.  I’m not getting another dog.  At least not right now.  I have a busy life, and I feel it would be unfair to bring a new critter into my hectic lifestyle.  There wouldn’t be enough time for training or bonding.  And a new dog wouldn’t be Cassi.

Cassi2

I don’t talk about her loss too much because I’m much better at stifling my feelings than I am at revealing them.  But I’m also better at writing my feelings than I am at speaking them.  So here I write about my lovely pet and the little hole that remains in my heart as I carry on without her.

My friend and neighbor, Natasha, helped me on the day that Cassi died.  She came to the vet with me, helped me get her things out of the yard and house, and spend the rest of the day watching funny movies with me.  Last week I discovered Cassi’s dishes in Natasha’s yard.  She said she couldn’t bear to get rid of them and wanted to use them as a planter.  I was thankful that she’s more sentimental than I am, and asked if I could have them back.

I now have a new favorite thing in my yard, and a happy reminder of the world’s greatest pup, that is almost as pretty as she was.

Cassi1

Rebecca Knabe

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15 thoughts on “Remembering Cassi

  1. Big hug, (((Rebecca))). You are handling this sad loss with real grace which is not easily done. I don’t know how we survive it but, we do. Take good care of yourself and I love your planters!

    On Tue, Jun 18, 2013 at 10:00 PM, trailerchic

  2. Great memorial to a wonderful companion. I too write better about emotion, I have trouble saying what I mean without tears. A house is not a home without a dog in it, or at least this is what a plaque said. I like those words. You will have another when you are ready and no it won’t be another Cassi, it will be a Rosie or a Bill or even a Reno, this is just the way it goes. We never replace them only add another to our hearts.
    Big hugs
    Sue
    Victoria, BC

  3. i am sorry 😦 as a dog owner and a former country girl moving from her city apartment to her old country piece of land with a trailer on top…i guess i feel even more for you. i admire all your make overs and your courage to do it in the first place.

  4. I am such an animal lover and it is never easy to let our little friends go. You are right, they do leave little holes in our hearts. I am so glad that your neighbor saved Cassi’s bowls…what a wonderful idea to make her bowls planters. Beautiful living things to remind you of your beautiful girl. Now I have to go and wipe my tears. Sending a HUG.

    • Sorry to make you cry…. 🙂 She felt like an extension of me, so it’s hard to figure out how to carry on with part of me missing. But I’m glad it’s mostly just happy memories now.

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